Self Care to Stress Less

Stress. Something I struggled to handle throughout my college years, and far before, and something that still disrupts me life. Some people are better at stress management than others. I am not one of them. That does not mean I just accept that I will always be miserable, life will consistently make me uncomfortable, and I have to live unhappy or trying to eliminate all preventable stressors.

It just means that I have to intentionally work to make time to find peace in the chaos.

So I know what you are thinking, "I don't have time for intentional work!" "Isn't the point of managing stress eliminating, not adding, another thing to my plate?!" Well yes, when you feel overwhelmed, taking something off your plate is the obvious solution. But the idea of adding in intentional work to find peace and manage stress is that by adding practices that fill your cup, no matter how many tasks and trials you face throughout the day, week, or month ahead, it won't be enough to let it run dry. Life should not deplete you or make you feel defeated, and when it does, our first response is usually to attempt to do less. But what if we build such healthy habits as our norm, that when stress comes to throw us off our game, we have grown and developed to the point it does not control us anymore?

This is something I work at each and every day, and I would love to have you join me on this journey to a healthier version of ourselves, with the first step being learning how to handle our own stresses, one cup-filling addition at a time. I will discuss the easy-to-adopt practices I do to manage my stress, and maybe one or all of them will work for you as well!

1. Every single morning I wake up an hour earlier. I started this practice a few years ago; I set my alarm for an hour before I actually need to get up, and I use that time to sit in bed, eat my breakfast & drink coffee in peace & quiet before anyone else gets up for the day. This time to me is sacred. Without it, my whole day feels rushed, off, and unsettled. I go through instagram stories, make a to-do list for the day, journal, look through my planner, and do my morning devotional. It is something I recommend to everybody, as it is truly a practice that has changed my life for the better. If you find you have no time for yourself, try waking up an hour earlier to do whatever it is you need to do for yourself to find your peace, if you don't have an hour, try 30 minutes, or even 15, just take some time to set your day and find a moment of peace before it starts. There is something magical and empowering about being up before the rest of the world, able to appreciate an hour the rest of the world is sleeping through. Starting your day in peace helps you to keep that internal peacefulness, no matter what the day ahead brings.

2. Another practice that is easy to adopt, and one that has made a huge difference for me and my stress levels, is burning candles. I absolutely love love love candles. I have many, and it seems I only want more! It is literally the easiest thing to integrate into your routine, as you can burn them while you do whatever it is you do normally! I burn them in the mornings during my hour of quiet time, (see #1), especially in the fall and winter when the world is dark & cold, as it gives me a sense of warmth & coziness that is much needed to transition into the day ahead. They also can be so calming in the evenings when I (used to) do homework, now read or journal or whatever else I am doing in the evenings. I like how they add a calming effect through their amazing smell & their warm glow, that helps me find my peace, no matter how hectic the day was. Honestly lighting a candle makes me feel like I am watching my stress melt away, which sounds so cheesy, but whatever works, ha! Just make sure you are always practicing fire safety when using candles !!!!

3. I love to do a devotional each morning to set my intentions for the day, and focus on God. If that is something you also practice, prayer & time with God through devotions, prayer journaling, or whatever works best for you, can be one of the most stress-relieving practices. When you start your day admitting that God is the one who will hold it and control it, you release much of your own stress and need to find control over anything that happens throughout the day ahead. I prefer to do my devo in the morning to set my day and start it on the right note, but some people prefer to do devos at night to close their day. If you are looking for a good devotional, I recommend Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, as well as the devotional flip-book Anxious for Nothing by Max Lucado, both can be found at Hobby Lobby! Starting my day with a short devotional is something I have done for years, and it is one of my favorite practices.

4. Every morning I journal. Like clockwork, this practice comes each day, and I look forward to it and the way it makes me feel. If you don't already, I absolutely recommend picking up the practice of The Start Today Journal by Rachel Hollis. If that is not your thing, pick a different style of journaling, finding what works for you. It takes me about 5-10 minutes to get through my journaling, and it allows me to set my intentions for the day, as well as motivates me to aim toward my goals, and eliminates much of my stress by allowing me to identify which areas of my life I want to focus on that day, and which are not a priority to give my energy to. This practice gives me direction and eliminates the overwhelming feeling of having too much to do, and not knowing where to turn to devote my energy to. Finding a focus for your day gives you an idea of what needs your time & what can wait; helping prioritize eases so much of my anxiety, and helps me manage my energy much more efficiently.

5. I love to read a motivational book! Sometimes the best way to manage your own stress is to learn how other people manage their's. Reading is an asset that provides tools by learning from other peoples' experience, helps you escape your own life by diving into someone else's, as well as reminding you that you are not alone, that everyone has problems, and they lived to write about them. Some of my favorites are Milk and Honey & The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kahr, Uninvited & It's Not Supposed to be This Way by Lisa Terkeurst, Own Your Everyday by Jordan Lee Dooley, and Girl Wash Your Face & Girl Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis. Each of these books has helped me in the stressful times of my life feel less alone, given me tools to handle life in a better way, and given me support, showing me how strong I can be following the lead of these strong authors, all empowering and inspiring women. There is no better place to lose yourself than between the covers of a book, because within its pages you just might find yourself again, along with so much more.

6. Moving my body is something that I do not love to do every day, I have to be honest. Some days it takes everything in me to get my butt off of my bed and get a workout in, but after I do, I feel so strong! Like Rachel Hollis says in Girl Wash Your Face, you would not cancel on your friend you agreed to meet at the gym because you want to watch Netflix instead, so don't do it to yourself. I started a 6 week program that I made up myself lifting weights 4 days a week for about 20-30 minutes, something very simple, but it gets me moving, and it makes me feel so amazing! When the workout goes better than yesterday's or when I get up and do the workout even when I don't feel like it, I feel so empowered and strong! I prove to myself that I have discipline, that I can do hard things, and that after the difficult thing is over, I feel so much better than I did before. This mentality transitions to other areas of my life as well. It also gets my mind off of anything stressful for the time I am working out, and helps me to have confidence in handling my stress after the workout ends. I encourage you to move a few days a week, and commit to it; honestly, the gym is like free therapy, take advantage of it!

7. I lied when I said I love candles the most, because essential oils might just beat them out! I am ALWAYS diffusing oils in my diffuser, like 24/7. I love my oils! My favorites are peppermint in the winter, especially in the Christmas season, as well as whenever I have a headache. Stress Away, Thieves, and Cedarwood are great for stress relief and overall health & happiness. Oils are the best way to relax without having to change your routine at all. Disclaimer: No I am not some naturopath hippie-dippie, but I do love essential oils, and find them to be so therapeutic, especially when it comes to stress relief. I use an Art Naturals diffuser, and my oils came from Young Living, however, you can buy oils and diffusers for fairly cheap prices at your local Target and Walmart as well as many drug stores! I recommend picking oils that will help you relax, and diffusing them whenever you are trying to sleep, study, or whatever floats your boat; they help boost my relaxation as well as my productivity!

8. The last thing I do for myself to help relax and decrease my stress is skincare. And no, it does not have to be fancy to be effective! I like to buy the St. Ives cleanser and then do a facial afterwards about once a week or so, sometimes every day when life is really stressful; you can tell when life is rough when I have REALLY clean skin, ha! There is a lot to be said though about doing something nice for yourself, even when life is tough, it can be one small thing you can do to make it a little better. My favorite facial at the moment is the Olay mask sticks, making my skin so fresh, clean, and soft!

Taking care of yourself does not have to be complicated. Wake up an hour earlier, use that time to slap on a facial, light a candle or diffuse some oils while you journal, read, or do a devotional. Use this time to drink your coffee and set your intentions for the day, or move your body to celebrate what it can do. And if all you did today was wake up and make it through the day, that is enough. You do not need anything on this list to feel happy or healthy, and sometimes life can be so overwhelming, it feels like it takes everything in you just to keep moving forward, so when you feel ready, try to lighten your load a little by attempting to add one or two practices at a time, making life a little less of a stressor. Stress management is healthcare. You are your biggest investment. And if you cannot manage your stress, you cannot manage your health. Please take steps to care for yourself, as you cannot pour from an empty cup, and if you can't, please ask for help. Life is too short to be living it without caring for the most important person in your life - you. You are so important, and you deserver to be cared for, first and foremost, by yourself.

Stress is part of everyone's life, but you get to choose if it stays in your's, and that is where your power lies. Care for yourself. Always. You are too important to not be cherished & loved.

you are blessed. you are gifted. you are loved and appreciated, just as you are.

mindfully, molli