hello 2020

Oh my goodness, 2019 felt like a kick in the rear! I have been waiting for 2020 to come like my chubby 10-year-old self used to wait for ice cream after school: intently, full of hope, and without much patience. This is the year I will graduate from college, close a chapter of my life, and move on to better things while cherishing the time I have left in this stage of life. I am sure everyone reading this right now has aspirations for this year: maybe to finish one more year of school, to grow themselves in some way, or to learn something new. No matter what way you are aspiring to grow yourself this year, I pray you reach your goals you set for yourself, but even more importantly that you learn something new about yourself in the process.

please ignore my ugly shoes from when I was in like 8th grade, I forgot my nice ones at school lol

2019 showed me a lot about myself, and although it was a tough year for me, I look forward to 2020 and what it has to offer. Some of the resolutions I have made for myself are to prioritize exercise for myself more (3-4x per week). This goal is not only for my physical health, but also for my mental health and stress control. I also want to journal consistently, learn to play the guitar, finish college (woo hoo!), pass the NCLEX, keep my spaces less cluttered, and do more yoga.

All of these goals sound fine and dandy, and I guarantee that they look a lot like the majority of other peoples' resolutions, not only this year, but every dang new year. And as we all know, the majority of these resolutions probably will not come true which is a huge bummer. I was shocked when I read that according to The U.S. News and World Report, 80% of new year's resolutions fail. Yes 80% people! So how do we make these goals for our year actually fit into the 20%? Well I have a few tips:

1. Think Small

I am a planner, a goal setter, and by golly, I am a goal achiever. I literally thrive on goals. I set them for myself hourly, daily, weekly, and very rarely monthly or yearly, so as an experienced and avid goal user, my first tip is to set short term goals. So if my resolution is to run a half marathon (which is one of my goals for 2020), then my goal is to get to that gym 4-5 times this week. Then you set this goal for yourself every week, which seems way less intimidating and impossible-feeling than saying you will go to the gym 20 times this month. I use this short term goal trick when I am running as well: I tell myself, you only have to run half a mile mol, and then when a half a mile comes I say, just one more half because then it will be a full mile and that is better than just one half. I then repeat this until I get to x y z number of miles and my half a mile run turned into a multiple mile run and honestly it was not very tiring or hard, it is all about tricking your mind into thinking you are not having to accomplish something you don't believe you can do, that is, until you get it done.

2. Find a pal

As I have been home on Christmas break, my sisters and parents have also been here. I will admit this morning when my sister woke me up this morning and told me we were going to the gym, I was so mad I told her to get out of my room because I wasn't going. I went, and I got a great workout in. Sometimes we need someone to get our rear into gear and remember that our inconveniences of today do not take away the fact that we have goals to meet! Having someone to meet at the gym if your goal is fitness, study with if your goal is academic, or go to classes with if your goal is something you have never done before, can make a huge difference in how successful and motivated you will be, and ultimately may differentiate you to be in the 20% when you would be in the 80% without them.

3. Be realistic

Now, one of my goals in life would be to be a millionaire but that is not really something I will accomplish in 2020, much less ever let's be honest ha! Making a goal such as: I am going to save x amount of dollars every month so at the end of the year I will have x amount of money to use for further schooling, vacation, a new vehicle, etc. is much more realistic. Now I want you all to aim high, don't get me wrong, but setting goals that are impossible to achieve only sets you up for failure. I want to run a half marathon by the end of 2020, although right now there is no way I could run 13 miles, and I may die trying if I did right now. Just kidding, but I would probably be really hurting. So instead I will set a realistic goal: by the end of February I want to be running 6 miles no problem. I then want to increase my distance by 1-2 miles every month after February so that 13 miles is not so scary. I want to run a 5K or two, as well as a 10K to make a half marathon seem much more manageable. Setting realistic goals will help you build your confidence, as well as help you trust and count on yourself to keep the promises you make to yourself.

4. Have faith

Talk to yourself with confidence. Instead of saying "I want to run 2 miles today" say "I am going to run 2 miles today." Come through for yourself in ways that you would for other people in your life. Rachel Hollis talks about this in her book Girl Wash Your Face, if you made plans with your gal pal Susie to go to the gym on Tuesday at 6 a.m. before work, you would not wake up at 5:30 to go and decide "ehhh, sorry Susie, just don't feel like working out, I am really tired" and flop back into bed for another hour. That would make you a really flakey and unreliable friend. In this same way, do not cancel on yourself. Get to the gym, read that book, take that step toward achieving your goals and dreams just as you would show up for your pals, because you should be your own best advocate and biggest supporter. Believe you can do it, and believe you can count on yourself to push you to get there. Your mind is your body's best workout partner. You can, but I guarantee you won't unless you believe that for yourself.

5. Give yourself grace

This one is the most important. When you have one bad day, do not give up or think you will never make progress. When you get a flat tire, you don't slash the other three and throw away your car, you fix the tire so you can keep moving forward. Do not let one set-back dump your goal and decide it is too hard, fix whatever it is that is standing in your way, make adjustments to make it achievable, or find a way around your set-back. If you are trying to eat healthier and have one binge session where you eat half a cake, move forward and learn from that experience so you don't do it again. Don't give up on yourself, and practice grace and forgiveness in reaching your goals. As Hannah Montana once said: Nobody's perfect. My 12 year-old anthem. Allow the mistakes to be part of the journey on your way to reaching the goals you have for yourself, rather than a roadblock to completing them.

I pray this is a year of growth and joy for all of you. I pray you get out of this year all that you long for, and I pray this is the beginning of a journey of growth and new opportunities, experiences, and answered prayers. Here's to 2020, a new year and decade, a fresh start, a new chapter, one you get to entitle.

you are blessed. you are gifted. you are loved and appreciated, just as you are.

mindfully, molli