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As someone who has struggled with anxiety, overwhelm, and stress management, I am a huge advocate for making sure no one else ever has to feel how I have. This will be a short post, just discussing the list I made for a dear friend who was needing some extra encouragement to get through a hard season of her life.
I call the list "The Controllables" because often when everything feels uncertain and out of our control, it is healing and empowering to celebrate and embrace the things we can control. Our attitude, our outlook, and our effort. However, I am one that completely understands when even these simple things are not possible for us to do in our hard seasons and struggles.
I know how it feels when the first big battle of your day is getting out of bed. When eating lunch is a victory, and feeling nauseous is your new normal.
I want to first say if this is you, please go talk to a doctor, or go be seen by a licensed therapist. I am not a physician or a mental health practitioner, and none of the information in this post should be substituted for medical advice.
What the list includes is this: Day and Date: for example - day: m (for monday) date: 10/1
got out of bed
brushed my teeth
15 min. me time
got dressed
showed up to everything
did my homework
did 1 nice thing for myself
prayed
went to bed
I think that these are applicable to anyone who is seriously struggling, as these are the small victories, that deserve to be celebrated, but are often overlooked. Let's unpack them!
Often getting out of bed and brushing your teeth can feel like a chore, so just getting up and doing something to take care of yourself is monumental. If you did that this morning, I am proud of you.
15 minutes of "me time" is something I try to do every morning, first thing. Taking time for yourself for a few minutes at the beginning of the day will make the rest of your day so much better, I promise. I like to drink coffee, scroll through instagram, read a short devotional, and journal (all in my bed), but do whatever it is that will help you to start your day on the right note. It does not need to be complicated; back when I was in the dorms it was simply coffee and scrolling through instagram in bed, and that was more than enough.
Getting dressed and showing up to all of your obligations, such as classes, tutoring, clubs, lunch with friends, whatever, is so huge. Simply showing up. Not being amazing or excited or yourself, but having the strength to get yourself there is so great, and if you had the strength to show up, I am proud of you.
Doing your homework, getting your list of activities you need to do done, whatever it is, just get it done. And then be darn proud of yourself. As long as you finish and do your best, you have done enough.
Doing 1 nice thing for yourself is so important. Sometimes it is getting yourself ice cream or coffee, sometimes it is taking a break, sometimes it is recognizing how hard you are working and allowing yourself to be proud. Do at least one thing for you each day, and you will at least have something to look forward to.
Pray and get some sleep. God will strengthen you and sustain you in this time. There is not a day that goes by that I do not pray, especially in the hard times. This can be so healing. It is so important to remember that you are never alone in your stress, and that God is always beside you and leading you in this time. This has been one of the most healing things for me. And as much as you may think you need to stay up all night, you will be so much more productive if you sleep! I used to go to bed at least by midnight, and get up at like 4am to finish my homework, because off of some sleep I was so much more productive and had a much clearer head.
You are never going this alone, and although I have so much more to say on this topic, and I will at a later time, please use this list if it helps you. Print it off and cross off each thing you accomplish. Hang it on your wall, put a copy in your planner, keep it with you, and allow yourself to feel accomplished in the little things, because some days those feel like very big things.
Please take care of yourself. And please know that if all you get done today is get out of bed, that is still forward, and it is still enough. I am proud of you. I see you. And I have been where you are, you will overcome this.
Although this list was tailored toward one person, I just wanted to share in case it could help anyone else going through a similar season.
Pal, I love you. And the world is a better place because of you. Keep showing up.
you are blessed. you are gifted. you are loved and appreciated, just as you are.
mindfully, molli
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