First Week in the NICU

I just downed a mug of coffee, my second of the day, and am sitting down to write this post, because this is dang exciting!

I am a Neonatal Intensive Care nurse. Like what?! I feel like just yesterday I was crying on the phone to my parents because my day at clinical was difficult, I had slept about 3 hours the night before, and I had three exams coming up that week. Then just like that here I am, with a parent of one of the babies I was caring for last week asking me if I was their baby's nurse and I replied, "Oh I am just a student!" having to then correct myself because, oh yeah I am their baby's nurse. Yikes! A face-palm kind of moment honestly. Luckily I corrected myself and explained I am a nurse, just new, and the mom and I got a good chuckle out of it.

Reflecting on having my first full week working as a nurse in the NICU, I could not be happier! Nursing school was hard, kind of distorting why on earth I chose this profession in the first place. I didn't feel on fire to get working honestly, and post-NCLEX summer was a little scary, as I knew I would have to start working and be thrown into a new environment with all new people, without my classmates beside me, like all of my previous clinical experiences.

What if my coworkers don't like me? What if I am not smart enough? What if I can't handle the pressure it takes to care for critically sick babies? What if I don't love it? These were all questions I was asking myself leading up to my start date. I was scared. I was not confident. And mostly, I was skeptical that all of the anticipation I had for this job being the absolute dream would only lead to disappointment. After all, it felt too good to be true that I would get my absolute dream job, and it would actually be everything I imagined it would be.

Boy was my worrying for nothing. I walked up on that floor to the scrub sinks on my first day (to do our 2 minute scrub we do everyday) without a clue of where to go or what to do next, only to be greeted by a nurse named Madi, and on her nametag read "Neonatal Intensive Care," the same as mine. She greeted me with a smile and showed me where to get my report sheet and check my assignment for the day. I felt welcomed. Meeting my preceptor, she explained our day, walked me through how to do our assessments and how our day would be structured, and it felt so right. The floor felt like home. The work felt like it was made for me to do. And my coworkers felt like a family. It was truly a beautiful moment, giving me a feeling that this is where I am meant to be, where God has called me. It sounds so cliché, but that day, for the first time in a long time, it truly felt like my life had fallen into place.

The NICU is an amazing place, with all of my patients being babies, it was intimidating coming into it, but the more I have worked, the more comfort I have in knowing, I would not want it any other way. The parents are kind, and you get to support them in the journey of nursing their little one back to health in many cases. I am with stable babies at this point in my orientation, so getting to pick up the babes, watch their personalities come out, and support the parents as they near taking their babe home is something that is so fulfilling. I am aware that this is not what every NICU stay is like, that often there are very sad endings to many stays on our unit, but for now, I am getting the happy endings, and I will take it while it lasts.

You scrub in, you wear your mask for 12+ hours (because COVID), you hold little lives in your hands, and teach eager moms and dads how to care for them in preparation for discharge, and you end your day knowing you made a difference in many lives that shift. Then you go to bed and do it all again, each day just as good as the last, if not better.

My job seriously rocks! My coworkers are kind and amazing, and my preceptor is out of this world. I am so grateful to be where I am at, and yes, that is cloud 9 for now! I am ecstatic that I get to care for tiny humans, and get to be on a team that saves and preserves the tiniest of lives. A person's a person, no matter how small. I am so grateful I am able to care for these little people. I know that I have a lot to learn, that I have a long way to go. But I think the most beautiful part of starting my nursing career with these tiny humans in the NICU, is that we get to grow together.

you are blessed. you are gifted. you are loved and appreciated, just as you are.

mindfully, molli